Say This, Not That: 3 Ways to Boost Your Communication Game
Contributed by LB Adams, Founder & CEO of Practical Dramatics
Words.
We use them all day every day both out loud and in our heads. For most of us, words come out of our mouths without really thinking about them. We just…speak.
But, what if we made a thoughtful effort to use better words? More intentional words. Words that made us say what we mean and mean what we say. How would our conversations change? How would the people we talk to react differently?
Small, easy word shifts can have a tremendous impact on our everyday interactions. Here are 3 of my favorite wording swaps to boost your communication confidence:
Tip 1
Exchange “Should” for “Could”
The word “should” is loaded down with other people’s expectations and judgments. It’s heavy, cumbersome, and it weighs on us. Have you ever heard a happy sentence that contained the word “should”? I doubt it!
However, “could” is a word ripe with possibility. It invokes the idea of vistas to be viewed and opportunities to be grabbed. It contains no responsibility other than imagination.
By simply swapping “what should I do?” for “what could I do?” you can change the direction of someone’s thoughts and emotions — a powerful tool for getting what you want out of a conversation.
TIP 2
Just Say No to “Just”
Especially for women, “just” is a limiting word. We use it to excuse the time or space we’re taking up. For example, “I’m just calling to see if you’ve received my proposal?” or “I’m just writing to confirm our appointment.” The “just” simply isn’t necessary and we just don’t need to include it!
My advice? Simply say what you mean.
Try swapping “I’m calling to see if you’ve received my proposal?” with “Have you received my proposal?”
Begin eliminating “just” and watch how it shifts your approach from meek and questionable to powerful and worthy. The best part? Your listener will sense it as well.
Tip 3
Apologize When Necessary, But Only Once
Okay, you screwed up. Or, the situation did not go as you had planned. You feel responsible because, well, the buck stops with you.
Take it from me and simply apologize sincerely one time. In this situation, your goal is to acknowledge your error and work to quickly fix your error. But, don’t burden the other person by persistently apologizing.
Over-apologizing puts the weight of whatever went wrong on the other person. When they have to repeatedly accept your apology and/or give you assurances that “it’s fine,” you can raise their discomfort and chip away their confidence in your ability.
Apologize once, thank them for their patience, and move on. Trust me, it’s what everyone wants.
Want to learn more ways your words impact your world? Grab my book, The Irreverent Guide to Spectacular Communication: Take Charge of Your Words and Craft a Greater Life, here >
Or, grab my cheat sheet and put my top tips at your fingertips:
About LB Adams
LB Adams, award-winning TEDx Speaker and Emcee, is the CEO of Practical Dramatics. It’s her quest & vocation to awaken women to the strategic power of what their voice can accomplish through deliberate language, positive word choices, and all-around killer communication skills.
During her multi-pathed career, LB has been a banker, actor, corporate executive, director/producer, costume designer, and shark-diving scuba instructor.
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